In primary school I would often spend lunch time play on the bench sitting on my own - I would get high anxiety thinking about my mum working nights, being scared of going home to my dad, not wanting to play football because I was no good at it, wanting to play hopscotch with the girls but knowing that was not really where I belonged either and the boys would frown upon that... and one game of hopscotch was not worth a week of being teasing about it. Describing how I feel today is like how I used to feel sitting on that bench. I’m watching from afar, wanting to join in, but I’m too worried, and too scared to even look up, because I may look too fem, too ugly, too awkward, too short, and too unable.
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